As if i needed another reason to become a lesbian...

So, here's the post that no one will read because it's long as fuck. But:

That. Was. AMAZING. Brandi Carlile, you rocked my very soul. You even rocked Red Butte Garden, which is so full of middle aged yuppie sponsors in logo-bearing, tiny folding lawn chairs that there is hardly even room to rock. But you commanded that shit, and i love you for it.

And the cherry on top? A babysitter! Actually, we were sort of doing a nanny litmus test with this lovely girl, and not to completely jinx it, but i really liked her! She's mellow and sweet and seems quite natural with babies. However, Georgia, who is usually comparatively easygoing, has been acting exactly like the girl in The Exorcist the past couple of days, so we decided to bring her along--we didn't want to frighten the nanny away on her first try.

So, Kingston and Beau happily settled in with the nanny (wow, i really like the sound of that), D and i headed to Whole Paycheck to fetch ourselves a little yuppie picnic to bring along to the outdoor concert venue. Their little deli is a pregnant woman's wet dream, with the motley assortment of weird ass, mismatched items to satisfy all your freaky whims. For example, i chose broccoli salad with bacon and red onions, quinoa--which as anyone who knows me even on a casual basis can attest, i normally HATE: The Bastard Grain, i call it--with black beans or something, pasta with smoked mozzarella, a salad with cottage cheese and tofu and like lentils or something (what? eww.), and a raspberry oat bar that cost like $4.25. Oh, and some Organic Round Thingers with her beloved Elmo's face on them for Georgia.

We arrived during the opening act, and the place was packed, so we found ourselves a little spot at the far end near the waterfall garden (aww) and settled in for our dinner. Georgia had made a complete behavioral turnaround, and was charming the ear gauges off even the burliest of dykes.  I was actually feeling good for a change, and Dave and i enjoyed our champagne (settle down, narcs, i only had one glass --filled to the tippy fucking top, but just one) and the food was delightful, even if i enjoyed my salad bar creation alone:
 "Salad?" i offered. Dave shook his head and gave me a look that suggested i had just offered him a mirror with a small pile of larvae on it and a clipped straw with which to snort them. Ah, well. More nebulous, beige tofu globs for me then, sucker!

And then came the Brandi. Her voice moved me to tears not once, but twice during the set. And Georgia, my little star baby who literally came out singing when she was born--i am not making that up--was RIVETED. I mean i have never even seen her this glued to anything or anyone, including Elmo (who, by the way, makes a damn good Organic Round Thinger...). I took her down to the front, and it took her several songs to even be able to tear her eyes away and dance, but when she did, she totally stole the show. Random people all around started whipping out cameras and shooting pics and even full-on videos of my toddler shakin' that thing. And horrible, negligent mother that i am, i forgot my camera!!! Arrgh! Dave and i were laughing so hard we cried. It was literally among the cutest things i have ever seen, EVER, and i'll never forget it, no matter what kind of meds they put me on after this fourth kid. One woman approached us with a business card wanting to take Georgia's photos. And even the cellist in the band was watching her and smiling.

Other highlights for me included 1) Brandi's pants. They were awesome and way sexy, and although i have wished that i hated penises for some time now, she and her fucking pants made me want to really make a more diligent, concerted effort at lesbianism. I mean, there are so many practical reasons (men are a sub-species, men completely lack the mandatory ability to multi-task, men--well, mostly just the one-- get me pregnant all the goddamn time, men are emotionally retarded, ETC...), but by and large i just can't help myself. I like men (ok, man) a LOT. But these pants made me think that maayyybe i could get over it.  It could be like those retarded clinics where all the Christian super-fags go and try to become Un-Gay and end up marrying lesbians and having three kids. I love this concept, and think that perhaps, theoretically, it could work the other way around, using these hottt lesbo pants as a subliminal night meditation.

2) She whipped out a rousing rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" that had me in irrepressible tears without any warning. As a kid only a couple years older than Georgia, i used to spend HOURS on end in my room alone in a yellow tutu (yes) listening to the original Judy Garland version and singing along. Over and over and over and over. My mom tells me it was pretty much constant. Evidently i would have made an amazing tranny drag queen. Therapy (or, hey, how bout some friends, mom?) might have been in order, but i guess it was pretty cute at the time. At any rate, the song was so so beautiful, and it reminded me of my childhood and my mom--and watching my daughter sway along had me crying like a little bitch instantaneously. You are urged to do the same:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76bQr8hQOls 


3) As part of her encore, she and her band ROCKED Johnny Cash's Folsum Prison Blues. It was smokin', truly. Her whole performance, her voice--just so explosive and awesome. I realized how terribly i miss seeing great live music. It is probably one of my favorite things to do on Earth, and i have been so busy procreating that i have hardly seen a single show the past few years. And taking a kid along proved to be not only doable, but a lovely time as well.

The only thing that would have made it better, perhaps, would have been larger amounts of champagne and my old buddy Raybyrne--my favorite person to go to a concert with. He's not unlike an adult male version of Georgia at a show. He becomes the show, and people are entranced, myself included. But having GA there was just as wonderful. In fact, the second round of tears spouted when Ms. Carlile finished the show with Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah'. Jeff Buckley's cover of that song is one of my favorites of all time, and Brandi's was just about as lovely. It reminds me of my crazy, tumultuous, beautiful twenties, and my crazy, beautiful, charmed life... and the wild chain of events that led me to that spot, with my darling girl now peacefully listening with her beautiful little head on my husband's shoulder. I am one lucky mama.